Away from Russia. As ten years ago made the choice of Ukrainians who were on the fault

Ten years ago, every Ukrainian had to choose one of the sides of a major conflict. Journalist Pavel Kazarin, then - a resident of Crimea, remembers his own experience, who taught him to see the future he does not want. He is not going to pack more things - one day there was enough. Ten years ago, I threw things into the trunk and went to Kiev. The occupied Crimea then resembled the center of the cyclone. The mainland has already occurred "Boeing" MH17, Ilovaysk and the first Minsk.

And on the peninsula a calm fell. I wrote about Crimea from February to October 2014. Thirty -year experiences of living in the "Deaf Province, the End of the Sea," suddenly ceased to be ballast. At the beginning of 2014, the peninsula turned into a prominent place of the planet, which they were suddenly interested in everyone. A well -known post -Soviet monument reserve turned into a non -fiction black earth. The sticks of the stick - and it blooms.

By October, the first shock from the change of flags has already passed. The first tragedies have already happened. The first wave of emigration was already equipped on the mainland. But the mobile communication was still common, and the trains continued to cross the border with the mainland. Even purely visual changes were a little. The monopoly of Ukrainian goods was gradually diluted by Russian. I inertia prices were transferred in UAH. Those who stayed were divided into three groups.

The first - was preparing for departure. The second was preparing for internal emigration. And the third - finally rejected hypocrisy. The latter were desperately waved with new flags. They poured curses on social networks. Soon their voices will become the only ones that will be attached from the peninsula. All others will either move or change accounts to anonymous. They are still rarely played, even less commented, but they read everything. The anticipation of the Global War gradually disappeared.

Russia stopped talking about "Russian Vesna", changing it to "Crimean". NATO soldiers never appeared. The corridor to the Crimea with land is too. Foreign journalists on the peninsula were getting smaller. The Russian accent is more and more. Friends from the mainland called daily. But the question: "How are you there?" I heard less and less. Instead, he put them more and more.

Social networks became the main source of information - it was there that the echo of those fights that changed the front line in the Donbass every week. It is funny to remember. Before the war, a top blogger was considered a person who had exhausted five thousandth of friends on Facebook. But after its beginning in Ukraine, the blogosphere suddenly appeared in Ukraine. Traditional media could not accept the information demand and the brainchild of Zuckerberg suddenly became a domestic CNN.

I collected things and thought that I have no idea of ​​my country. The geography of the mainland was limited to me by the Maidan, a little Kiev and quite a little - Lviv. In my thirty I knew Ukraine badly. Traditional Crimean -humanity was signed. Island mentality. Crimean identity. And since February 2014, she melted daily. Annexia forced everyone to determine their own civic identity. Decide what flag you think of your own. Under the sounds of which the hymn you will give up.

Conversations with fellow countrymen were increasingly reminiscent of a minefield. Any careful step led to an explosion. There were more and more topics that divided us, and those that were united were less. Gradually, this minefield will turn into a real front line. It was necessary to leave. I had no idea what was waiting for me. That year, something was not planned. The only thing that was clear: me and my peers had to live within history.

The story we have been deprived of throughout the previous years. And there was no point in changing these doubles for copper. I will return to Crimea twice more. First-at the end of 2014. For the second time-in the summer of 2015. And then the FSB arrests my colleague, who remained in the Crimea and wrote that the peninsula belongs to Ukraine. He will be sentenced to calls for violation of the terrain of the Russian Federation. After that, I saw Crimea only from the Arabat arrow.

I do not sway my registration. The peninsula does not dream me at night and I do not love when I am sympathetic. I perceive everything that happened to me as an experience, not as an injury. And it was he who helped me decide on desires. In October 2014, I sat down at the wheel with a clear awareness of what kind of future I do not want. And I am quite sure that I'm not going to pack things anymore. I had enough once.